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[velocitygirl]

She's walked around in a fog lately. Fake smiles and general...lies.

But she's finally tired of it. What's the point of having fought for Wes so long if she's just going to sabotage and shut him out? She woke up one morning, decision made.

Of course, he's not here right now...there was a meeting or...something. She stopped paying attention until he kissed her forehead and walked out.

That was a few hours ago. Now she knows that as soon as he comes home, she wants to talk. 'Course...she doesn't look like it.

You know. Just sitting there blankly on the couch.

Comments

[undignified]

Wes isn't quiet as he walks in the door; he's whistling something he heard while out.

He shrugs out of his jacket as he enters the living room, then sees Inyri on the couch and stops.

"Hey, what's goin' on?"

[velocitygirl]

She looks up at him, her bangs twitching as she blinks slightly. Suddenly she's nervous and ready to back out.

She doesn't give in, though. "Hey. I think we should...I should talk. If...if you're willing to listen."

[undignified]

He tilts his head slightly, but nods, and drapes his jacket over the edge of the couch.

"Course," he says, sitting beside her and watching her with some concern. "I'll listen. I won't even sleep a little."

(On the inside, he's terrified.)

[velocitygirl]

She shifts and smiles dully at him. "I...I don't."

Inyri presses her lips together and thinks for a moment. "I'm doing it again...the whole...pushing people away. I started a fight with Shalla and walked out when she told me if I did, she'd give up on me.

"I wanted to lose a friend. I lost one. I..." She looks away and bites down on her lip. "I'm so unhappy right now. I don't want...to fly anymore. I don't want the friends I have, and...sometimes I don't even want you around."

She tilts her head and looks at him when she says that, lips pressed together and brow furrowed. She doesn't mean that she never wants him...it's just...she's so...out of it.

"I mean, I love you, I really do. But...I'm sabotaging myself for no reason...except to just punish myself for nothing. I..."

She shakes her head and drifts off.

[undignified]

It hurts a little. He knows it shouldn't, but it does, and it requires conscious effort not to lean away from her for a moment.

"Shalla can't give up on you," he says, "not forever. Not if she cares about you. But..."

Most of the things he can think of to say are easier said than done. But so are most things in life.

"But you can't give up on yourself, either. If you don't like how things are, you have to change them. I'll help -- or, or if you don't want me around--"

He can't really finish that sentence.

[velocitygirl]

She blinks rapidly, blinking back tears. "No, I..."

She reaches out for him, her hand on his shirt, smoothing wrinkles. "I don't think that you going away would make this any better."

[undignified]

"--okay," he says, and smiles faintly with relief. "Okay. But I do want to help you make it better. All of it."

He's ambitious.

[velocitygirl]

She laughs, a little bitterly, and her hand goes to wipe tears off her cheeks. "An' how will you do that?"

[undignified]

"...practicalities are for lesser people."

He reaches out a hand to lower hers, and wipes away her tears gently with a thumb before leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

"I don't know," he says honestly. "But you're the one who's gonna do the important stuff anyway. I'm just here for the booze runs and the paperwork and the really bad jokes. Plus, if you need anyone shot, I can do that."

[velocitygirl]

She leans forward when he kisses her cheek and sighs, watching her hands. They tremble slightly.

"I think...I want to quit again. Flying." She looks up at him. "There's a flight instructor opening, and maybe I'd be better at that. I mean...I can show people what to do. I don't want other people dying."


She just doesn't trust herself at the helm of a ship anymore.

"But I'll think on it more."

[undignified]

His smile turns slightly rueful.

"Teachin' a bunch of snot-nosed brats to fly? Yeah, you could do that. Might even be fun for you."

He holds her hands and leans forward again and says, quietly, "I'd miss you in the Rogues, though."

[velocitygirl]

"I don't trust myself anymore." She whispers, leaning forward as well. "What if this feeling just takes over one day? And then...boom."


It's not like the sims. She won't get a restart then.

[undignified]

The thought terrifies him; he lets go of her hands to hold her, shifting closer and tugging her into his arms.

"It won't," he says in a fierce whisper. "You won't let it. Boom's only good 'nough for Imps and you know it."

[velocitygirl]

She buries her head against his chest, fingers fisted into his shirt. The thought scares her too, but it would be so...simple.

"I don't know if I know it," She murmurs into his shirt, voice muffled. "And...'m doing it slowly anyway. I didn't stop smoking."

She sounds pitiful, whispering into his shirt like that, confessing her offences.

[undignified]

He closes his eyes and shakes his head slightly. He was trying to ignore his suspicions about that.

"'s better than big boom. But you didn't tell me."

That hurts, too. It's not important in the grand scheme of things, not really, but he can't help it.

"You do know it, though. Just gotta remember. Would a diagram help?"

[velocitygirl]

She pinches his side. "No. Visual aides never helped me out."

She sighs. "I...just didn't want you mad at me."

[undignified]

"Ow," he says, deadpan, before smiling quickly.

"I'm not mad." He pulls away to look at her. "I wouldn't be mad. Just, just ... disappointed."

[velocitygirl]

"That's almost worst," She murmurs, not looking at him.

[undignified]

"Not about the smoking. I don't--"

He sighs. He does care.

"It doesn't matter," he says quietly, "what you do. I just don't like it when you lie to me."

[velocitygirl]

"But I'm so good at it." She murmurs. "It's easier. Than to completely trust someone. Especially..."

She shakes her head. She doesn't want to say it.

[undignified]

"That--" He smiles wryly. "That really doesn't make me feel better about it. I like to delude myself into thinking you do trust me, see."

[velocitygirl]

"It's not easy," She shakes her head, not smiling. "But I trust you more than I do most."

[undignified]

"Then I guess that's okay, relatively speaking." His smile fades. "But I wish you could trust me completely."

[velocitygirl]

"Give me a little time? I mean...Zekka just died recently. And you did..." She shakes her head again. She doesn't want to say it.

It'll hurt them more than she wants to.

[undignified]

"...yeah," he says eventually, "okay. Time. If I give you enough time, will you start finishing sentences?"