velocitygirl | (no subject)

She didn't go back to Wes' room.

She went back to her's, and she knows it was stupid, but he's not around, she looked. So she opens the door and goes to the bathroom without stopping.

The bruise is a disgusting colour as she looks at it, and barely pressing her fingertip in makes her wince and hiss in pain. And when she bites her lip till it bleeds again, tears prick in her eyes and all she can think of is that at least she feels it.

There's a razor somewhere in the bathroom that she used the last time she lost herself and made a mistake. She ponders finding it (and making more mistakes, just so she can listen to someone get mad at her again). She thinks about looking for Shalla, but she doesn't know what to say to her. She never does, it always ends in tears or kisses and neither are good enough. She thinks about finding Wes, and making him hold her, just hold her, because she's losing her grip on friendships and she can't handle this anymore.

She thinks of other places to hurt but can't make herself move from her spot at the mirror, watching the blood bubble up on her lip.

Finally, she moves away, turns on the shower and fully clothed, Inyri sits under the spray of water, nails biting into the skin of her own palms as her shoulders shake with tears and pain.

The hot water doesn't run out.

But her ability to breathe under an onslaught of water does.

So she turns off the fawcet, and sits in the tub, shaking till she thinks she can open her eyes without crying and open her mouth without screaming.

But she's got no where to go, once out of the tub and stripped of the soaked clothes. No where to go but under.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

undignified

Wes is looking for her. She wasn't there when he woke up, so he thought she'd gone downstairs for some breakfast or lunch. But she wasn't there either, when he looked, and she wasn't anywhere he could see outside, and she wasn't in the sims room, so in the end he decides to check her room, though he thinks she'd be pretty silly to go there.

He opens the door anyway and pokes his head inside, frowning a little.

"'Nyri?"

From:

velocitygirl

She starts at him calling her name, and she grabs a towel and wraps it around herself before sticking her head out of the bathroom door.

Five seconds to compose herself.

"Hey."

From:

undignified

"Oh -- hey," he says with a smile, and he steps inside, letting the door close behind him.

"--you could've used my shower, you know. It works just as well."

From:

velocitygirl

Oh isn't that cute. Thinking she was in the shower.

She licks her lower lip and tastes blood again. "I wasn't showering."

Drowning more like.

She steps out of the 'fresher, moving to dressers that still hold her clothes, tightly gripping the towel.

From:

undignified

He frowns again, watching her.

"Your hair's wet," he points out. "What were you doing if you weren't showering?"

He's suddenly not sure he wants the answer.

From:

velocitygirl

"Waking up." She murmurs. "Most people don't shower with their clothes on."

She pulls clothes out from the drawers and pads quietly back to the fresher. "I'll be out in a moment."

From:

undignified

"Not most people," he agrees thoughtfully. He's concerned, and this is obvious.

"--okay," he says, and nods. "I'll, uh, be here. And I won't look, I promise," he adds with a grin.

From:

velocitygirl

"I'm shutting the door," she smiles softly, before closing the door and getting dressed.

Or...closing the door and gritting her teeth and clenches the sink for a moment. And then she quickly gets dressed, pulling clothes that feel too big on a body that feels too small.

And she steps back up and leans agains the door frame.

From:

undignified

He nods and watches the door anyway, listening in case she needs him.

When she's out, he grins again at her, hopefully reassuringly.

"You okay? Got kinda worried when you weren't there when I got up. Why'd you go off on y'own?"

From:

velocitygirl

How does she say she thinks she's losing her best friend because of him?

"I think I'm losing my best friend because of you."

Oh, that's how.

From:

undignified

Wes's grin fades and he stares at her, not sure, for a second, that he's heard right.

He swallows.

"What're you talkin' about?"

From:

velocitygirl

"Shalla doesn't seem too impressed that I'm staying with you. I don't think she trusts either of us with each other." Inyri says. "She keeps acting and saying that she's not you and that's why I don't want her help."

She crosses her arms. "It's not true. I do want her help."

But she isn't Wes. And that does make a difference.

From:

undignified

"She's crazy," he decides. "For all of it. I can't not help you, and it's not like we're--"

He breaks off, because when he thinks about it, that part isn't too crazy. And he doesn't want to think about it.

He frowns at the floor for a second, then looks back up and says, "Maybe-- Maybe you could stay with her instead, then."

From:

velocitygirl

"She's leaving. For home. I can stay here, if you want." Inyri say softly, watching him.

From:

undignified

"No." He shakes his head quickly and glances round the room. "No -- told you, don't want you on your own, not when he's around bein' crazy. If Shalla's not gonna be here, then, then you should stay with me. Or someone else who'd protect you," he adds almost reluctantly.

From:

velocitygirl

"Who else is going to protect me?" She whispers, pushing away from the doorframe of the refresher. "You're the only one that consistently has been here to do so."

Even though she doesn't need it.

(Maybe she just needs him).

From:

undignified

Wes shrugs. He can think of a couple people who would, if he asked them -- but he'd rather not. He doesn't trust anyone better than himself, not for this.

"Then I'll continue to," he promises, almost managing a smile as he shoves his hands in his pockets. "...but you can't just run off all the time, okay? I can't-- I can't protect you if I'm not there."

From:

velocitygirl

"I had a bad dream. Didn't want to wake you." She steps closer. It's not a lie. Her dreams are always bad.

From:

undignified

Wes smiles wryly and shakes his head.

"Told you you could, didn't I? F'anything and I'll help, if I can."

He believes her; or maybe he wants to.

From:

velocitygirl

"You're too good to me." She says softly, running fingers through her wet hair.

She moves to the edge of her bed and sits. "I don't want to lose Shalla, Wes."

But she cannot lose Wes.

From:

undignified

Wes ducks his head ruefully. Then he hesitates a second before sitting beside her, though he doesn't touch her.

"You won't," he says quietly. "Maybe she's just -- upset. But you're friends and she's not a child; she'll get over it."

From:

velocitygirl

"She's always upset at me lately. We should have never slept..." She drifts off, letting herself fall backwards onto the bed.

From:

undignified

He can't help a grin at that, though he tries to hide it as he shuffles back a little on the bed so he can still see her.

"Hey, she'll get over it," he repeats. "I guess -- she just wants you to trust her. Wants to help you. Though if she's going home, she can't exactly do that very well."

From:

velocitygirl

"I think I fucked her over," She says, looking up at him. "And not just literally," she grins. "But she was just comfort. I think she wanted more..."

She shakes her head. "But we don't get what we want all the time, right? So yeah. She'll be okay."

From:

undignified

He definitely can't help snickering there, but his amusement fades and he nods, thoughtfully.

"...'s never really a good idea," he says ruefully. "One night stands with friends. Ends up real messy."